May 25th - WHAT AM I DOING?!

Today's challenge is to talk about something someone told you, about you, that really stood out in your mind. But, honestly, I don't want to. I don't wanna blog about myself. I wonder what's so great about me. Currently, I'm a college student, no job, no income, no more car. I'm in a funk.

I guess that's why I haven't posted in a while.

But, there's good news. I've got a job interview on Tuesday. A job would definitely get me out of my funk. I'll actually have things to talk about. Everything is looking up.

So...I guess that's what I'm doing.

May 16th: Challenge Accepted

Today's challenge is to talk about something in your life that you've overcome. I haven't technically overcome this little problem, but I promise you I'm working on it.

I "suffer" from Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Basically, I have frequent panic attacks, I tend to over worry, I am prone to stress as well as episodes of depression. I can recognize that I have negative thought patterns, but I often have trouble figuring out how to change them. I've gone to therapy, I take medication, and I take every day one step at a time.

Recently, I thought I was doing better. I hadn't had a serious panic attack in a few months, I was regulated on my medicine and feeling great. But, I don't know, I slipped back into my old habits, and no amount of breathing techniques were helping. I'm home for the summer now, and although it makes me feel pretty crappy, I can focus this time on getting back to that good place that I was at. I guess I've gotta go back to therapy.

So yeah, there's that.

If you're interested in reading a little more on the thought process of a panic attack, click here to read a short piece I wrote about my anxiety.

May 14th: Ten Things That Make You Happy!

I love this one! I guess it's because I'm excited to tell you the things that make me happy...because, well, they make me happy! These are in no particular
order.

1. Chipotle

A Chipotle Burrito Bowl with chicken/steak, pinto beans, lettuce, sour cream, cheese, guac, and pico de gallo is the way to my heart. I had one today, and it was oh so good. Love at first, second, and third bite.

2. Curling up with a good book

Nothing better than getting in that super, ultimate, lazy comfortable spot with your favorite book, and losing yourself in another world. When I was a little girl, my mom would swear up and down that I was in another world. I had a gift, I could ignore everyone around me when I got into a good book.

3. Those few moments right before you fall asleep at night

Maybe, while reading that oh-so-amazing book? I don't really know what it is, but there's something about those surreal moments before you lose consciousness that ca be so incredibly peaceful.

4. Puppies

So...I've never had a puppy, but I spend so much time imagining the kind of cutie I'll get when I move out of my parent's place. Probably a Bichon Frise, because they're just soooo cute. Something about those cute little puppy dog eyes that gets me every time.

5. Laughing/Making others laugh

I get such a sensation form laughing with friends, or just making them laugh. It really makes me happy. I'll find any reason to laugh.

6. Tumblr

Shameless plug. I love this site. Hours of procrastination entertainment. I feel like not much more needs to be said. Except, they have a gif for EVERY mood you may ever/will ever/have ever felt.

7. My Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ

'Nuff said!

8. Writing

Writing is my favorite past time. It gives me the opportunity to escape. It allows me to figure out, and understand what I'm feeling. It challenges me to look at situations from different angles. It really is my outlet.

9. Eating and food and cooking

I don't remember where I heard this, but "my favorite meal is my next one." Haha. I love food. I love eating it, cooking it, everything. Eating is great, trying new foods is great, and preparing a meal for a loved one is great.

10. My mom

She really is crazy. But I love her. Through thick and thin, rough and tough, high and low (can i come up with anymore cheesy lines?) she's there for me. She's always pushing me to do my best, and pushing me to enjoy my life, because sometimes I get so caught up in existing that I forget to live. I love this woman. Truly

May 13th: Public Apology

Today's challenge is to issue a public apology to anything you want. Serious, funny, or creative. Unfortunately, this post may prove to be none of those things. (I'm so good at self-deprecation)

I'm sorry,

But, I'm not amused by people that use the Internet to create an entirely different persona for themselves. I can't take you seriously if I know you outside of the Twitter or Facebook, and you're a completely different person than you portray. Who are you trying to impress? A network of netizens that you will probably never meet? Do you feel validated by every like, retweet, reblog, and follower? If you're gonna spend all of your time on the Internet, then at least find a way to get paid doing it. 

I'm sorry that you can't be as "cool" in reality as you are online. I'm sorry that you value the opinions of strangers as much as you do. I'm sorry you spend your days in front of a screen making a persona that you can't live up to. 

Actually,

#notsorry Be you, no one can do it better.

May 12th: Someone You Miss

Here's a fact: my grandfather was the greatest guy that ever walked the earth.

Yeah, it's true. Anyway, for today's challenge of someone I miss, it would most definitely be him. He passed away seven years ago, and I still miss him as though it were yesterday. It makes me sad writing this, but in the spirit of the challenge I'll tell you a bit about my grandfather.

His name was Philbert, aka Philo. He was a pretty small guy, but had this way of seeming larger than life. He loved playing soccer, and he had long dreads that went down his back. 

I remember that he loved to walk. He'd walk all over his neighborhood in New York. And when he came to visit us in Maryland, he would walk. He would walk with me to the park, and then he would play with me like he was 10 years old. 

On sunny days he would sit outside in the grass for hours. He would just sit out there, and stare into the trees, and he seemed so entirely content with life. He was so wise. 

When me and my brother would cook up concoctions in the kitchen, he would drink/eat/choke down whatever it was. So much for wisdom.

Yeah, so basically, he was a great guy all around. I love him, and I miss him. 

Who/what do you miss?

May 11th - Sell Yourself!

Here we go! Ten words to sell myself.

This is kind of hard.

So, I asked my mom and sister for help since they're here. This is what I got from them:

Intelligent

Gorgeous

Ambitious

Driven

Sweet

.......

That's the entirety of the list. My own mother couldn't get past those words. Other words I got were:

Unfriendly

Unnapproachable

Cold

Man...

I need to do some soul-searching haha.

May 10th: Most Embarrassing Moment?!

This post is pretty hard for me. Not because I'm worried about sharing an embarrassing moment with the world, but because I have so many. I'm a little awkward. Socially. I mean, nothing serious, but sometimes I don't quite know how to interact in social situations. And, sometimes I don't pick up on social cues. Yeah, like I said, nothing serious.

Anyway, moving on to one of my most embarrassing moments. Let me regale you with a bit of backstory here. I have a boyfriend, and we've been together for 7 months. For the first couple of months I was scared of appearing gross in front of him. I went so far as to even try to hold in my...gas. I thought I would die of embarrassment if I passed gas in front of him. Or worse yet, he would die from the fumes. It got so bad that my stomach would make super loud noises, and I was in pain...a lot.

One day, I was in my room, and my boyfriend said he was going to go out into the living room to do his homework. I figured, what a perfect opportunity to relieve myself and let one rip. Well, as soon as I did he walked back into the room. It was quiet, so I know he didn't hear it, but I could definitely tell he smelt it. I remember how hot my face got when I saw his mind working out what he was smelling, and what had just happened. Then, he burst out in laughter. So much so that he teared up a little bit. So did I. I started laughing/crying/panicking all at once. I thought it was terrible.

It wasn't too bad, though, even though I get embarrassed just remembering that day. We're still together, and farts are just a part of life for us, I guess.

Do you have any embarrassing stories that could top that one?